Improving Confidence and Self Esteem

Having strong self-esteem and a high level of confidence is one of the surest ways to succeed and live a happy life.  We use hypnotherapy to help with the following:

• Feeling confident in social situations

• Dealing with challenges, such as speeches, interviews and exams

• Building your self-esteem and feeling good about yourself

• Having the confidence to follow your dreams

• Becoming more assertive and speaking up for yourself

• Starting a new life situation such as a job or course

Hypnosis can be used to enhance confidence and self-esteem.  Although we tend to talk about these terms as though they are personality traits and use them interchangeably they are different qualities, so let's deal with confidence first.  There is a tendency for other people to seem more confident than ourselves but this is because we have access to our own self-doubts whereas other people's are usually hidden.   Acting confident is not the same as feeling confident, but for some situations it will suffice and our real confidence will grow as a result of these actions.  There is nothing better than facing your fears for giving you confidence and hypnotherapy can help by programming your unconscious mind to look forward to challenges instead of dreading them. 

One of the first steps we take during hypnotherapy is to help you identify your specific challenges rather than treating confidence as something all-encompassing.  For example, some people consider themselves to be an 'unconfident person'.  It is useful during a hypnotherapy consultation to clarify exactly what is meant by this.   Everybody is confident in some areas and less so in others.  A good starting point is to identify when you do feel confident and when you lack confidence rather than generalising about the kind of person you are.  This instantly gives you more freedom to change.

Often confidence is linked to competence.  We need to work out a balance between these in order to make progress in our lives.  Usually, we grow in confidence when we become more competent in a task so if you let a lack of confidence put you off doing something new then you are going to limit your opportunities.  People forget that when learning something new the whole point is that you don't know how to do it yet, otherwise you wouldn't have to learn it.  A lack of confidence is sometimes helpful in a new situation if it means you are open to learning.  Think about people who are so confident that they 'know it all' and how difficult it can be to get them to learn something new.

However, there are times when a confidence boost is useful, for example, if you are facing a challenging situation and need to appear calm and in control.  It can also be helpful to have some confidence-building through hypnosis if you are struggling to be assertive and generally finding people taking advantage of you.   A lack of confidence can be debilitating if it prevents you from doing the things you would like to do or if it causes others to treat you with a lack of respect.  Sometimes you simply need a confidence boost to sign up for the course, apply for the job, meet new people and so on.  Hypnosis can help you stop producing negative inner talk that undermines your confidence and help you get into a state where you can put your best foot forward.

Moving on to self-esteem, this concept refers to your self-evaluation and indicates how highly you value yourself. It is complex because the way you rate yourself depends on your internal standards and the rules you live by.  For example, if one of your rules is 'I am only a worthwhile person if I never make a mistake' then it is likely that you are going to have some self-esteem issues.  It is unfortunate that many people have such impossibly high demands of themselves and are not even aware of the rules they have created for their lives. Sometimes people who appear high achievers to other people have low self-esteem whereas people who behave anti-socially can have high self-esteem. This is because we are talking about self  esteem, which can be independent of the esteem other people hold for us. 

Liz provides hypnotherapy at Life Unlimited.  If you are curious to find out if we can help you improve your confidence and self-esteem, check out the benefits of hypnosis or call us for an informal discussion.

Hypnosis can give you a self-esteem boost and make you feel happier but if you really want to make deep changes in this area then coaching can be a highly effective intervention.  Your self-esteem will be influenced by the life you are creating for yourself and how far this is in alignment with your authentic self.  Some self-exploration combined with some life-changing action could be what is needed to raise your self-esteem. 

Ultimately, self-esteem relates to how much of our potential we are using and coaching can help you access and utilise your hidden resources to create a better life. 

Visit the About Us page to find out how to make an appointment or call us for a chat.

A goal without a date is just a dream

Milton H Erickson

I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within.  It is there all the time.

Anna Freud